Easier to Run [Jay]

[Admiral Striker General]

[cs=3][atrb=style,height:87px;width:469px;border:0 black none;][atrb=style,border:0 black none;border-radius:40px;-moz-border-radius:40px,bTable][atrb=background,http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc64/Heart-of-Thorns/VC/kalitable2.png,bTable]
[atrb=style,width:215;border:0 black none;]	[atrb=style,height:265;width:221;border:0 black none;color:b7b7b7;][scrolly:h(265),w(221),sy,as(padding:4px;)]"What will that fix?" the words, said before she could even think, sounded nearly offended. Kali herself looked shocked to have said them. After a moment to compose herself, however, she decided she meant it and settled more firmly into that frame of mind. "D-.. Distractions won't help me pretend she's still here. I'll still know. I've always known she was right there. Every waking minute since the day I got her. It doesn't matter what we try to do; I'm going to be just as painfully aware of her absence as I was of her presence." Was she mad? Furious. Was she mad at him? Not at all. Was she taking it out on him anyway? ...She really should stop doing that, actually, but... But it was hard! How was she supposed to deal with it...? She just... Kali didn't know. [/scrolly]	[atrb=style,border:0 black none;]
[atrb=style,height:22;border:0 black none;]

[Jay]

[atrb=style,background-image:url(http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc64/Heart-of-Thorns/VC/yuetable.png);color:#111111;width:492;height:400;line-height:14px;][atrb=style,border:0 black none,bTable][scrolly:h(230),w(271),sy,as(padding:9px;margin-top:130px;margin-left:204px;)]Yue stared at Kali as she snapped back at him, and an irritated smile came and went from his features. "Kali, Stormy is just a pokemon," he stated after a moment. "I understand she means a lot to you, but you can't just keep being upset. Nathan will find her," he finished the last part trying to be more reassuring than his previous words had been. "At least he didn't have some sort of snag machine or something that would make her completely his." Was he talking a bit in circles? Yue couldn't tell but somehow felt as though he was. [/scrolly]

[Admiral Striker General]

[cs=3][atrb=style,height:87px;width:469px;border:0 black none;][atrb=style,border:0 black none;border-radius:40px;-moz-border-radius:40px,bTable][atrb=background,http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc64/Heart-of-Thorns/VC/kalitable2.png,bTable]
[atrb=style,width:215;border:0 black none;]	[atrb=style,height:265;width:221;border:0 black none;color:b7b7b7;][scrolly:h(265),w(221),sy,as(padding:4px;)]'Just a Pokemon'. Kali didn't hear much after this. Those words... she'd said them a thousand times. Pokemon were tools. Pokemon existed for human benefit. Pokemon were inferior beings. And yet she'd been so broken by the loss of this one- this Pokemon whom she'd had no qualms whatsoever about using for whatever means or ends suited her whim even once in the past. Perhaps that was just it. After some pause, she finally sighed, "I need some time..." And with that, she turned to head to her room. Time... Time would help... right? [/scrolly]	[atrb=style,border:0 black none;]
[atrb=style,height:22;border:0 black none;]

[Jay]

[atrb=style,background-image:url(http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc64/Heart-of-Thorns/VC/yuetable.png);color:#111111;width:492;height:400;line-height:14px;][atrb=style,border:0 black none,bTable][scrolly:h(230),w(271),sy,as(padding:9px;margin-top:130px;margin-left:204px;)]Kali's sigh was almost met with a sigh from Yue that was repressed rather quickly and substituted with a smile. She just needed some time? That ...Alright.. that was fine then... "Maybe we cou-" he was cut off as Kali started towards her room- their room?-. Reaching out a sleeve and hand, Yue stepped forwards and made to catch her by the shoulder. "Hmmm how about we ---" Leon couldn't think of what to say after that and found himself releasing her shoulder again. [/scrolly]

[Admiral Striker General]

[cs=3][atrb=style,height:87px;width:469px;border:0 black none;][atrb=style,border:0 black none;border-radius:40px;-moz-border-radius:40px,bTable][atrb=background,http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc64/Heart-of-Thorns/VC/kalitable2.png,bTable]
[atrb=style,width:215;border:0 black none;]	[atrb=style,height:265;width:221;border:0 black none;color:b7b7b7;][scrolly:h(265),w(221),sy,as(padding:4px;)]Kali looked back and stared blankly when she was caught, and didn't really react when he spoke or released her. After a few awkward moments, though, she sighed and forced a weak smile. "I'll be back. ...Promise." And she turned again to head to their room. Maybe... she could sleep this bad mood off? Oh, she dearly hoped... [/scrolly]	[atrb=style,border:0 black none;]
[atrb=style,height:22;border:0 black none;]

[Jay]

[atrb=style,background-image:url(http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc64/Heart-of-Thorns/VC/yuetable.png);color:#111111;width:492;height:400;line-height:14px;][atrb=style,border:0 black none,bTable][scrolly:h(230),w(271),sy,as(padding:9px;margin-top:130px;margin-left:204px;)]Yue stood there for a few moments unable to say anything before slowly nodding and watching as she walked away. A quiet sigh finally escaped him before he turned and started down the hallway back to work. However, a part of him was unsure if he was going to be able to get any more work done today, sigh. [/scrolly]

[Admiral Striker General]

[cs=3][atrb=style,height:87px;width:469px;border:0 black none;][atrb=style,border:0 black none;border-radius:40px;-moz-border-radius:40px,bTable][atrb=background,http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc64/Heart-of-Thorns/VC/kalitable2.png,bTable]
[atrb=style,width:215;border:0 black none;]	[atrb=style,height:265;width:221;border:0 black none;color:b7b7b7;][scrolly:h(265),w(221),sy,as(padding:4px;)]Kali drudged mechanically down the hall until reaching the door, which she pushed open more with her body than her arms. Flopping at first on the bed, she soon twisted to raise her knees closer to her chest, and lay there in her little ball. Though she knew it was a false hope, she couldn't help but feel as though maybe, just maybe, if she could curl up enough, perhaps she could shrink right out of existence, and block the world out forever. ----- Naturally, Kali did not manage to erase herself from reality, but over the next few hours, she had a lot of time to think. As she searched her thoughts, analyzing this and reflecting on that, she slowly started to piece together a bigger picture. What she saw, however, horrified her, and the closer she got to understanding, the more she tried to pretend she didn't. With enough time, however, the truth was inevitable, and the girl could not hide from it forever. Maybe she was wrong, she told herself. Maybe it was just her shaken state. It wasn't that she didn't have an answer for the new question that had answered her old ones; she just couldn't think of it at the moment. Though Kali did not believe this in the slightest, she chanted the idea like a mantra. She was obviously being ridiculous. Obviously. Obviously. Obviously. Completely and utterly ridiculous. She told herself this over and over, with every step as she at last climbed out of bed and began droning back through the halls. Fear more than will drove her at this point. Fear that she was right, fear of what she might need if she was, fear of what she could lose if she did, fear of having to choose. It was too much; it could scarcely be a worse time; but try as she may, she could see no other path. [/scrolly]	[atrb=style,border:0 black none;]
[atrb=style,height:22;border:0 black none;]

[Jay]

[atrb=style,background-image:url(http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc64/Heart-of-Thorns/VC/yuetable.png);color:#111111;width:492;height:400;line-height:14px;][atrb=style,border:0 black none,bTable][scrolly:h(230),w(271),sy,as(padding:9px;margin-top:130px;margin-left:204px;)]Yue had gone back to working as best he could, though whatever had been in his mind before was gone, and it infuriated him more than he was willing to admit. In the end, he decided to pick up a wrench and walked over to a machine beginning to do routine maintenance that should have been Ven's work -which she seemed to have been slacking off on recently. Then again with her arm the way it w- no that was no excuse. He'd learned to deal with problems of that nature. She could certainly deal as far as he was concerned. Becoming engrossed in work again, he found himself blocking out whatever was going on around him thus not hearing Kali as she came. [/scrolly]

[Admiral Striker General]

[cs=3][atrb=style,height:87px;width:469px;border:0 black none;][atrb=style,border:0 black none;border-radius:40px;-moz-border-radius:40px,bTable][atrb=background,http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc64/Heart-of-Thorns/VC/kalitable2.png,bTable]
[atrb=style,width:215;border:0 black none;]	[atrb=style,height:265;width:221;border:0 black none;color:b7b7b7;][scrolly:h(265),w(221),sy,as(padding:4px;)]As Kali continued to search, the irrational fears in her grew in both strength and number. She knew good and well that it was often difficult to track him down in the lab, and she was always able to. All the same, she couldn't shake the feeling that this time would be different- that he'd just disappeared forever. When she finally heard him clanging in some machine, she breathed a sigh of relief deep from her core and hurried to the room in question. When he didn't respond, she did not press it. In fact, she suddenly changed her mind, debated turning and running. Still she stayed, just waiting as long as it took for him to notice her, all the while trying to work up the courage to continue when he did. [/scrolly]	[atrb=style,border:0 black none;]
[atrb=style,height:22;border:0 black none;]

[Jay]

[atrb=style,background-image:url(http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc64/Heart-of-Thorns/VC/yuetable.png);color:#111111;width:492;height:400;line-height:14px;][atrb=style,border:0 black none,bTable][scrolly:h(230),w(271),sy,as(padding:9px;margin-top:130px;margin-left:204px;)]A few minutes passed before Yue finally retracted his arm from the machine and breathed out. That really shouldn't have been as hard as it was, but for whatever reason, it had been. Shaking his head and mumbling something about small hands, he stopped and looked sideways upon noticing Kali there. ".....Are you feeling better?" he asked pretty sure the answer was no from the look on her face at the moment. [/scrolly]

[Admiral Striker General]

[cs=3][atrb=style,height:87px;width:469px;border:0 black none;][atrb=style,border:0 black none;border-radius:40px;-moz-border-radius:40px,bTable][atrb=background,http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc64/Heart-of-Thorns/VC/kalitable2.png,bTable]
[atrb=style,width:215;border:0 black none;]	[atrb=style,height:265;width:221;border:0 black none;color:b7b7b7;][scrolly:h(265),w(221),sy,as(padding:4px;)]Kali bit her lip in response. She couldn't-.. but she had to-... but.... Attempting in vain to calm herself, she took a long, deep breath, then found herself holding it. Her lips pursed a few moments, then twisted oddly as she tried to settle on an expression. At last, the words were simply blurted out: "Who am I?" [/scrolly]	[atrb=style,border:0 black none;]
[atrb=style,height:22;border:0 black none;]

[Jay]

[atrb=style,background-image:url(http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc64/Heart-of-Thorns/VC/yuetable.png);color:#111111;width:492;height:400;line-height:14px;][atrb=style,border:0 black none,bTable][scrolly:h(230),w(271),sy,as(padding:9px;margin-top:130px;margin-left:204px;)]Yue stared... and stared... and stared. What did she even mean by that? He expected her to laugh or something, maybe even say that she had come to some estranged conclusion regarding pokemon. After a minute, he laughed quietly. "Kalista Vincent?" he asked after a moment. [/scrolly]

[Admiral Striker General]

[cs=3][atrb=style,height:87px;width:469px;border:0 black none;][atrb=style,border:0 black none;border-radius:40px;-moz-border-radius:40px,bTable][atrb=background,http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc64/Heart-of-Thorns/VC/kalitable2.png,bTable]
[atrb=style,width:215;border:0 black none;]	[atrb=style,height:265;width:221;border:0 black none;color:b7b7b7;][scrolly:h(265),w(221),sy,as(padding:4px;)]That earned a laugh, but far more bitter than the one he'd expected. "Kalista Slade, technically," she corrected dryly. Five seconds into this conversation and she had already found even more to make her doubt her perception of self. "Maybe Lily.. Kalista or Kali? Sabela or Sable?" She'd gone by the latter at least a few times. "Slade, Vincent, Verich, Erichira?" Kali was smiling now, but not in a good way. Whatever fears had been holding her back, whatever reserves or inhibitions had bound her.. His question seemed to have shattered them all. Unfortunately, it seemed those bindings had also been holding her together at all. The girl before him now had come down the hall expecting a rather more teary-eyed, soul-searching conversation. Now though... Now... Laughing airily as she held herself, she fell back a bit to lean on a wall. Her not-quite-red eyes stared at nothing. "I don't... even know what I believe. I claim to favor historical myths.. but when I'm really scared, it isn't 'Arceus' I say. .. I've.. spent my whole life telling myself certain things about Pokemon. ..I work for you.." That word came out.. affectionate and distasteful and afraid all at the same time. "But my... One of my 'best friends'..." This got another little laugh. "It's.. kind of funny I can say that. We talk a few times a year and still she qualifies. Heheheheh.. What a life I lead~<3" Ah, but she had a topic, yes~ "One of my best friends is Ami. ..When I get lonely enough, sometimes I talk to Reyna. I usually avoid talking to her because I know I'm afraid." Her smile hadn't faded once, but her eyes were starting to glaze over. "Afraid of realizing.. what I know I've known all this time~ She's.. not so different from Ami. Yet too different to blame it on her species." 'Blame' felt somehow more appropriate than other words of attribution here. "As different... hehe... as one person from another~" Pulling away from her wall, ignoring Yue or whatever his reactions to this point had been, she half-hummed/half-sighed a breezy little note to herself as she turned and began pacing the room, starting away from him and following the walls. "It's not just Reyna~ Heh. Oh no.. I talk to some of the others too. Sometimes I talk to the ones who can't even talk back." She shook her head. "No, no... They don't say much. But you know? I know what they mean. "You've seen me. I know you have~" The day he'd proposed, even- those Altaria- they qualified. "They aren't much good for conversation." She shook her head again, ever-smiling. "No. But when I ask questions, they understand me. Most give back answers I can make out, too. Animals don't do that, love~" At this point, her eye twitched a bit as she momentarily 'smiled' harder. "Tools and livestock.. They don't give coherent responses. Pokemon do. They..." At last, she found herself taking a moment's pause over her thoughts, but that speck of hope appeared to be more a matter of habit than anything. Breaking it, she continued, "They deserve more respect than we give them. I think you know that, too." It was not a question. Did Kali suddenly hate Shadows? Not at all. The bright-eyed little girl who'd been mauled by a Rattata was far more idealistic about the world than the teen who'd grown up telling herself whatever would best help her sleep at night, and even then she saw the worth of the ideal. She had very much meant it when she'd told him once she wouldn't mind being a Shadow herself, under the right terms. Stormy.. Her beloved Stormy. She had wanted to be Shadow, and Kali knew it. The question she now had, however, was: did every Pokemon they'd ever altered feel that way, too? There was some pause as she let the words settle, and then another laugh escaped her. "And that's... just beliefs. Barring all that.. who the hell am I... without my Storm?" Deny it as she'd tried, she had come to the horrifying but irrevocable conclusion that the Electivire had, in fact, been her lifelong security blanket. The smile, at long last, faded. Some more natural hurt was returning, dulling her numbness, but she still seemed more bitter than depressed at the moment. "She did everything for me, Leon. Without her... would I even survive on my own?" She honestly didn't know. She'd never had the chance to find out. "Without her.. who would I be? Who am I?" [/scrolly]	[atrb=style,border:0 black none;]
[atrb=style,height:22;border:0 black none;]

[Jay]

[atrb=style,background-image:url(http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc64/Heart-of-Thorns/VC/yuetable.png);color:#111111;width:492;height:400;line-height:14px;][atrb=style,border:0 black none,bTable][scrolly:h(230),w(271),sy,as(padding:9px;margin-top:130px;margin-left:204px;)]The bitter laugh followed by the correction caused Yue's face to fall into something flat, not quite cold but shouldering some sort of concern. His single dyed eye focused as she leaned on the wall. The words that flowed out from her only continued to make him stare, if somehow harder than he had before. An adrenaline was very rapidly jumping into his blood making him want to cut her off for reasons his mind wouldn't accept just yet. Stop he mentally ordered but couldn't get it out. She named it- her rather- and went on. Kali stop. His face fidgeted distorting his features as more adrenaline rushed past his bones. He didn't realize he was stepping back until his shoulder knocked into the machine he had been working on. Stopping, he leaned on it and crossed his arms in front of himself. She kept talking... kept... referring to them as.... as.... Kali. Kali stop. STOP he mentally growled but was unable to bring his lips to formulate the words. Why was this suddenly becoming so difficult. She just... she just....And she went on still... went on to ask who she herself was without her pokemon -her Electivire.... That... that was silly. That...That... Yue's eyelid twitched as Kali seemed to finish, and for nearly a solid minute he said nothing. Instead, he became increasingly aware that what he was feeling was akin to anger -something brash and violent that wanted to lash out, not in the way he smacked down small children or pokemon with his cane either. No this ... was almost a betrayed feeling, something that he had not experienced. He wanted to lash out at her making him feel like this...Why hadn't she stopped? Why did she keep talking? Why had she kept talking? He'd felt hate, that was obvious...fucking Wes could burn in hell for all he cared. He knew jealousy though he'd never admit it, that bitch Lovrina taking Ein's lab...Master's lab... Master's lab that should have been solely his. He knew of many emotions that may or may not have played on his features, but this was something all together knew. She was defying him. That had to be it... The fact that it was her own personal revaluation didn't matter, and at the moment he didn't care about how much hurt she was probably feeling from it along with her loss. No, she was trying to change his mind, trying to undermine him. Even if... even if she... mattered so much to him... she... the project... the PROJECT was being put at risk... She was trying to change him... what... what.... Master... Master...you'd ... you'd know what tos say to this... Master... Yue killed his thoughts realizing then that it was panic. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. No he wasn't overreacting. "Kali, you would have had another pokemon," he said flatly, harsher than intended. "You're Kali, and you're irritating me at the moment. Get out." he ordered. Whether it was from the room or from the lab, he didn't specify, but at the moment, Yue didn't care which. He wasn't going to fight her. He wasn't... going to hurt her- physically anyways. He wanted her out. Out of his sight. Get her thoughts out of his mind. [/scrolly]

[Admiral Striker General]

[cs=3][atrb=style,height:87px;width:469px;border:0 black none;][atrb=style,border:0 black none;border-radius:40px;-moz-border-radius:40px,bTable][atrb=background,http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc64/Heart-of-Thorns/VC/kalitable2.png,bTable]
[atrb=style,width:215;border:0 black none;]	[atrb=style,height:265;width:221;border:0 black none;color:b7b7b7;][scrolly:h(265),w(221),sy,as(padding:4px;)]'Get out'. Kali's eyes widened and pupils narrowed at those words; whether the rest of her expression leaned more toward fear or pain or disbelief even she couldn't have begun to say. She froze in place a moment. He... didn't mean that... right? Whether he did or not, his previous words still bothered her even more, even if they hadn't so shocked her. With hesitant movements, she backed slowly toward the door, but did not leave. A few steps away, she instead fell back against the wall again, holding herself tightly as before if not tighter. "So.... is that... all I am? ...The culmination of whatever happens to be in my PokeBalls at any time...?" [/scrolly]	[atrb=style,border:0 black none;]
[atrb=style,height:22;border:0 black none;]

[Jay]

[atrb=style,background-image:url(http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc64/Heart-of-Thorns/VC/yuetable.png);color:#111111;width:492;height:400;line-height:14px;][atrb=style,border:0 black none,bTable][scrolly:h(230),w(271),sy,as(padding:9px;margin-top:130px;margin-left:204px;)]Yue's bottom eyelid twitched. This has nothing to even do with pokemon," he snapped a good deal harder than intended. "You're you, and you're human." This somehow worked out as a logical explanation at that particular moment, but if he tried to go beyond that, Yue didn't even know what she was really saying. He was simply irritated- no, defensive, really, almost a little afraid. She...she was supposed...to..... Leon didn't even realizing he was cracking his knuckles until he felt the residual pain from being unable to pop them anymore. [/scrolly]

[Admiral Striker General]

[cs=3][atrb=style,height:87px;width:469px;border:0 black none;][atrb=style,border:0 black none;border-radius:40px;-moz-border-radius:40px,bTable][atrb=background,http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc64/Heart-of-Thorns/VC/kalitable2.png,bTable]
[atrb=style,width:215;border:0 black none;]	[atrb=style,height:265;width:221;border:0 black none;color:b7b7b7;][scrolly:h(265),w(221),sy,as(padding:4px;)]Her lip quivered a bit. A stuttered sound escaped her. Then, incredulous as she was certain he would be at her own words, she nonetheless asked, "...Am I?" She was quite aware how ridiculous that was. Obviously, she was a homo sapien and there wasn't really any debating that. But... "I don't.... know how to function without them..." [/scrolly]	[atrb=style,border:0 black none;]
[atrb=style,height:22;border:0 black none;]

[Jay]

[atrb=style,background-image:url(http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc64/Heart-of-Thorns/VC/yuetable.png);color:#111111;width:492;height:400;line-height:14px;][atrb=style,border:0 black none,bTable][scrolly:h(230),w(271),sy,as(padding:9px;margin-top:130px;margin-left:204px;)]The question was ridiculous...foolish.. unworthy to be asked... to him, and all Yue could do was frown at her for it. As she continued, he stared. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wondered if he could fun--- of course he could. That was silly. Pokemon were tools, but tools could be replaced. They could be substituted... If Yue had been more prepared, he might have said there had to be plenty of people that dealt without pokemon, but even if he had thought this, it probably wouldn't have helped the situation. Kali had specified herself, after all, not the human population. "Of course you know how to," was the reply that was given without base, without argument's core. He said it only because that was what had come to mind. That had to be his defense at the moment. [/scrolly]

[Admiral Striker General]

[cs=3][atrb=style,height:87px;width:469px;border:0 black none;][atrb=style,border:0 black none;border-radius:40px;-moz-border-radius:40px,bTable][atrb=background,http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc64/Heart-of-Thorns/VC/kalitable2.png,bTable]
[atrb=style,width:215;border:0 black none;]	[atrb=style,height:265;width:221;border:0 black none;color:b7b7b7;][scrolly:h(265),w(221),sy,as(padding:4px;)]She bit her lip. "But.... I never-" Before she could finish that sentence, she was cut off by the sound of approaching footsteps and... singing? Turning toward the open door, she watched as one of her Hitmontop danced by, mopping and humming to himself as he went, apparently oblivious to the humans at the moment. ....Was that her MP3 player? ...Whatever. Kali was too tired to care, as long as he put it back when he was done. Turning back to Yue, she just gave him a look to say that display should have been self-explanatory. After enough pause, she sighed. "I just... I guess I feel like I.. have no personal merit." [/scrolly]	[atrb=style,border:0 black none;]
[atrb=style,height:22;border:0 black none;]

[Jay]

[atrb=style,background-image:url(http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc64/Heart-of-Thorns/VC/yuetable.png);color:#111111;width:492;height:400;line-height:14px;][atrb=style,border:0 black none,bTable][scrolly:h(230),w(271),sy,as(padding:9px;margin-top:130px;margin-left:204px;)]Yue deadpanned at the Hitmontop as it went by and was ready to face/palm when Kali started talking again. No... personal merit? Blinking -or winking perhaps- Yue reached up and rubbed his temple as the first thing that came to mind was dropped. As much as he wanted to say 'then get some', he knew for a fact that would't help. He could tell her to get out again, and she was close enough to the door to where she could just leave. He didn't want to hear this ever still and didn't want to see this. He wanted her to drop the topic and go back to being normal. These questions he didn't want to ask himself were meaningless! He... was sure they were meaningless.... Looking away, he sighed. "Well that's silly," he said still a bit more than just a little harsh tone wise. Like before, he gave no further explanation- or rather he couldn't figure out what else to say. [/scrolly]