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Post by Admiral Striker General on Nov 12, 2010 9:09:51 GMT -5
Her lip still quivered a bit from coming so dangerously close to crying before, but she tried to force an uneasy smile all the same. Drawing up a bit of courage, she added, "And constantly turning the subject back to him does nothing to enforce the idea you'd actually be even vaguely interested yourself..."
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Post by ★ Ryuujin ! on Nov 12, 2010 9:11:42 GMT -5
★ KAITO ★ It's typical - create a world, a special place of my design.By my admission nothing grows. Just a longer list of throes. - - - - - - - - - - - - "That's not the point, Kali." He was all too quick to retort, sliding his eyes closed, "You need to be happy with the decision you make. If being with someone else brings guilt, confusion or depression to you, is it really worth it?" He looks back at her, completely serious as he refers to what he saw in her aura a little painfully. He could've said it outright, but he had a feeling she would know what he meant.
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Post by Admiral Striker General on Nov 12, 2010 9:15:33 GMT -5
This question brought another pang of awkward pain and another wash of emotion, making it that much harder to hold that smile. In all honesty, at this point it more or less ceased to be one despite the position of her mouth given the rest of her features. "...When being near him lately makes me just as if not more confused and oftentimes even more depressed?"
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Post by ★ Ryuujin ! on Nov 12, 2010 9:17:26 GMT -5
★ KAITO ★ It's typical - create a world, a special place of my design.By my admission nothing grows. Just a longer list of throes. - - - - - - - - - - - - "..." With some strange resolve, Kaito lowered his voice to a whisper, strange emotions lingering, playing with his tone - yet, it remained warm, strangely so, "But what makes you feel worse?"
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Post by Admiral Striker General on Nov 12, 2010 9:21:06 GMT -5
Again, his questions continued to dig deeper into her, leaving her mentally writhing at the things she found. For a moment, she actually considered... But as she thought about it, she asked herself if she'd still be questioning it so if he were right here with them? ...No. She wouldn't... But then.... he wasn't, and she did, and... "The fact that my answer honestly seems to depend on who I'm closer to when it's asked...." she admitted weakly.
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Post by ★ Ryuujin ! on Nov 12, 2010 9:51:45 GMT -5
★ KAITO ★ It's typical - create a world, a special place of my design.By my admission nothing grows. Just a longer list of throes. - - - - - - - - - - - - Unsure of how to reply to this, he remains still and quiet for a few moments before swallowing hard, "You're very intricate..." he started, looking deeply into her aura, seemingly transfixed, "When I think I know one thing about you, you turn around and astonish me again and again." He pauses, drawing his lower lip into his mouth, biting it, chewing it all in thought, "Kali... I wish I could help you without bringing you more confusion or pain... I only seem to do this by asking you these things, don't I?"
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Post by Admiral Striker General on Nov 12, 2010 9:53:51 GMT -5
She gave a light sigh. Honestly, that had eased her nerves a little, but only just, and they were definitely still pretty shot overall. After several moments, she shook her head. "It's more self-inflicted really... I just..." She gulped, speaking the thoughts almost as they became conscious, terrified to admit the truth even to herself. "When I'm so far from him, I look back and wonder... do I really love him at all? Or is it just.... obsession..." Her words had begun to catch in her throat, making her force each out. ".. I don't... have anything to compare this to, and...." Her full body trembled lightly from the verge of crying, as well as from fear....
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Post by ★ Ryuujin ! on Nov 12, 2010 10:23:04 GMT -5
★ KAITO ★ It's typical - create a world, a special place of my design.By my admission nothing grows. Just a longer list of throes. - - - - - - - - - - - - Feeling her tremble, he releases a soft, airy sigh, "Kali..." He breaths out, mixed with the sigh, the name sounds light, "Slow down a bit and breathe, what if you're just thinking about this too hard..." He shifts a bit, almost uncomfortably, really thinking about his words, choosing them as carefully as he could at this point. But... really... what could be said? "You're tearing yourself apart like this... its almost painful to watch..."
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Post by Admiral Striker General on Nov 12, 2010 20:02:32 GMT -5
Again, he seemed to reinforce her fears, though she somewhat expected it this time. "Like I said.. self-inflicted..." she repeated, then gave a heavy sigh. "And here.. I doubt my feelings for him.. and wonder if I'm just fooling myself... and the moment I'm near him I'll tell myself I MUST just be thinking too hard and ignore it.."[/size] She tried to bury herself a bit deeper in his arms, as if just trying to curl up into nothingness.
"If I am just thinking too hard, the problem is obvious.." She hesitated a bit before continuing. "But if it's just an obsession, it also explains the denial of my doubt.." His advice so far hadn't exactly proven exemplary, but she couldn't help but want it. Even if she didn't agree or it proved useless or he just told her what she already knew, just... getting this all out made thing a little better, if only so very, very little... "Which voice do I listen to, Kaito...?"
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Post by ★ Ryuujin ! on Nov 13, 2010 5:50:52 GMT -5
★ KAITO ★ It's typical - create a world, a special place of my design.By my admission nothing grows. Just a longer list of throes. - - - - - - - - - - - - At this, Kaito found himself really... thinking. She had a point, and neither voice sounded beneficial to Kali in any way, shape or form, so there was no smarter choice, in his mind, that would be preferred over the other. "Which voice is louder? He asks after a few moments of silence.
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Post by Admiral Striker General on Nov 13, 2010 6:02:50 GMT -5
She was silent for a few moments before giving a half-hearted laugh, expression and tone rather distant. "Whichever happens to be the one talking..." she answered honestly. Stupid world not wanting to make sense...
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Post by ★ Ryuujin ! on Nov 13, 2010 6:24:13 GMT -5
★ KAITO ★ It's typical - create a world, a special place of my design.By my admission nothing grows. Just a longer list of throes. - - - - - - - - - - - - Thinning his mouth as he looks down at her, he feels his heart skip a beat. Hn... "The feeling, when you think about him when you're not around him, is it warm?" He inquires, partially wit curiosity, partially with want to help still... somehow...
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Post by Admiral Striker General on Nov 13, 2010 6:36:34 GMT -5
"And cold.." she replied, slightly dry, though mostly still just weak and confused. "And every other contradiction it could be.." She sighed heavily, going near-limp in his arms. She understood where he was going with this, but... "I know what love is 'supposed' to feel like, what others have said.. and it does, mostly, but...." She gave a small mewling sigh and gave up trying to finish the thought.
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Post by ★ Ryuujin ! on Nov 13, 2010 6:49:52 GMT -5
★ KAITO ★ It's typical - create a world, a special place of my design.By my admission nothing grows. Just a longer list of throes. - - - - - - - - - - - - Supporting her as she went limp in his arms, Kaito sighed, raising a hand to gently place it on the back of her head in a calming gesture, "Mostly like love..." He mutters, thinking on how the feeling is generally pure. "Is the other part what feels like obsession?"
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Post by Admiral Striker General on Nov 13, 2010 6:56:00 GMT -5
At this question, a small whine accompanied the pang of harsh emotion it brought, making Kali tense for just a moment. At first she thought to try to cover or justify it- that signal of near-crying- but quickly gave this up, deciding it didn't make much difference at this point, especially with Kaito. And especially given how obvious it was in her voice anyway. "I don't knoooow..." she whimpered. "I don't have anything similar to compare either to..."
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Post by ★ Ryuujin ! on Nov 13, 2010 7:05:14 GMT -5
★ KAITO ★ It's typical - create a world, a special place of my design.By my admission nothing grows. Just a longer list of throes. - - - - - - - - - - - - Well... that certainly didn't help. The deeper they got into the conversation, he realized that Kali didn't seem to know well... more or less... what the hell she was doing in the situation, perhaps, just as much as Yue - more so out of confusion and desire though, as it seemed. It was slightly curious to him, and it made him reel. Shifting his gaze off to the side, he bit his pride, "I-I don't know what to tell you... Kali...."
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Post by Admiral Striker General on Nov 13, 2010 7:26:43 GMT -5
..... Well, that was different. She couldn't say that was reassuring, but neither could she blame him, she supposed. Sighing softly, she debated whether or not she wanted to go on with her next thought. It... could go really badly, in a lot of ways, but... Well. It did help just getting things off her chest, she'd decided, right? "And then... there's you..."
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Post by ★ Ryuujin ! on Nov 13, 2010 8:00:35 GMT -5
★ KAITO ★ It's typical - create a world, a special place of my design.By my admission nothing grows. Just a longer list of throes. - - - - - - - - - - - - Feeling his breath hitch in his throat at these words, Kaito closed his eyes, seeming to understand. Biting back a small noise that threatened to escape past his lips, perhaps from frustration, guilt or a mix of several other, minor emotions, that now didn't matter, never to be heard, "I... I certainly don't help your situation any..."
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Post by Admiral Striker General on Nov 13, 2010 8:12:28 GMT -5
The girl gave an empty, slightly bitter half-smile, not that it mattered given Kaito couldn't see it with her where she was. "That's not what I meant exactly..." she admitted softly. "I-..." She took a deep but quiet breath as she sorted the thought out in her head. Some ten seconds later, she at last continued, "Here I am telling you all this... and I know it should turn you away.." If.. he actually had feelings for her, she meant, what with hearing her go on and on about someone else..
"But instead...." Her smile grew a little more real, if sad, as she snuggled a bit closer. Her voice grew even quieter. "You just keep trying to help, and being so.... selfless about it, and...."
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Post by ★ Ryuujin ! on Nov 13, 2010 9:18:03 GMT -5
★ KAITO ★ It's typical - create a world, a special place of my design.By my admission nothing grows. Just a longer list of throes. - - - - - - - - - - - - "I could never leave someone who needs someone there for them, especially you, Kali. If I were to leave, you would be crushed - and that's the last thing I want." He speaks with a tone of resolve and sincerity as he finds himself able to give her a gentle hug. "There is no reason why I should be turned away that I can find..."
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