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Post by Admiral Striker General on Nov 13, 2010 9:33:20 GMT -5
Tears again welled almost beyond the point of holding as a feeling both wonderful and terrible washed over her. Hugging him tightly, she replied, "Like that...." Really, he couldn't have proven her point much better. She choked on her sobbing a bit, the gulped before trying to muster the courage to continue, a bit of a blush rising beyond the red from almost crying.
"You are... such a wonderful man... And.." Her voice went higher as it lost its confidence, but she continued all the same, breath and heartbeat growing faster. "Thinking about him makes me crazy, in both ways.. But it does it all on it's own... Where... You... This.. You can see how it makes me feel..." she resigned, thinking what her aura must look like. "But it.... it's because of him.... And... if I think about... if we'd met differently... if I'd never met... Yue...." The name tasted strange, but she used the same one he would. Meanwhile, her aura was still a tumultuous mess, but as she spoke her last words, everything became suddenly overcast with a shade of soft pink.
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Post by ★ Ryuujin ! on Nov 13, 2010 9:34:42 GMT -5
★ KAITO ★ It's typical - create a world, a special place of my design.By my admission nothing grows. Just a longer list of throes. - - - - - - - - - - - - A soft, rosy color dusted his cheeks as he understood the meaning of her words, unable to help all but becoming nearly captivated by her aura, "Kali..." He whispers her name breathlessly, followed quickly by a soft sigh, managing to settle down a bit as he tightens the hug. "I-" he smiles slightly after a few moments of silence and thought, yet again looking for those words that wouldn't ruin anything, like so many times that night, "I will admit... I would be happy to be yours, only if that were to be what you would truly want - and if it weren't to drive you to the brink of insanity with confusion and such other feelings about -" Kaito quickly bit his lower lip, cutting himself off rather suddenly. Bad. Bad. Bad. Don't go there, remember that... "You need to be happy, you deserve happiness..." His voice trailed off, his eyes slowly sliding closed as he tensed a bit as if preparing himself for something rough, "I'm sorry..."
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Post by Admiral Striker General on Nov 13, 2010 9:45:35 GMT -5
For several moments as he spoke, she found herself unable to breathe. Her heart sank and soared all at once as so many feelings washed over her with his words. He would... be happy to.... He really wanted her... Someone actually wanted her. And not even after months of devotion, just weeks of a casual friendship.. How could.... "But...." she meeped after some time to take it all in, voicing her other concern now.. "Idunwannahurtyou...."[/size]
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Post by ★ Ryuujin ! on Nov 13, 2010 10:07:23 GMT -5
★ KAITO ★ It's typical - create a world, a special place of my design.By my admission nothing grows. Just a longer list of throes. - - - - - - - - - - - - All but being easily able to see the emotions that seemed to wash over her at once, he smiled, the action only growing as she seemed to spill out so many words at once, leaving no room for a breath. It almost made him chuckle, "I'm more concerned about you..."
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Post by Admiral Striker General on Nov 13, 2010 10:13:42 GMT -5
Though the sound never escaped, she could feel the movement in his chest as he suppressed the laugh. It was as adorable as painful. At his response, she gritted her teeth, taking a few moments to calm the rising in her throat before replying, "And that's why I don't want to hurt you..."
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Post by ★ Ryuujin ! on Nov 13, 2010 10:43:29 GMT -5
★ KAITO ★ It's typical - create a world, a special place of my design.By my admission nothing grows. Just a longer list of throes. - - - - - - - - - - - - As her words fell from her mouth, he found himself able to smile sincerely, quickly able to find the words he felt he should say. "It would be nothing new if it were to happen, Kali. So long as you're happy and not in so much turmoil. The way your aura shifts, it hurts to watch it." With a sudden blush, he looked away again, 'what the hell am I saying... I'm not helping at all...
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Post by Admiral Striker General on Nov 13, 2010 11:02:02 GMT -5
For some time, she replied in neither word nor action. Then, choking a bit on the words, she replied, "But... I will...." She huddled up a bit, glancing off at the wall. The fact of the matter was... "You're... better... in most every way..." To start- he actually came off as mentally stable! If that alone wasn't enough, he was actually capable of balancing work and fun; he was selfless more often than selfish; the age gap was less severe (she was pretty certain of that much, if not by how much); and he actually cared about her.. Just to name a few of many things.
"But.... if I thought he'd have me..." she admitted now. Thinking on all the things about him she hated, she couldn't help but find most in some way just a little endearing. "I think I would..." she trailed off, knowing that was a lie. There wasn't really any 'think' about it, honestly, was there... "I don't.. wanna do that..."
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Post by ★ Ryuujin ! on Nov 15, 2010 0:54:11 GMT -5
★ KAITO ★ It's typical - create a world, a special place of my design.By my admission nothing grows. Just a longer list of throes. - - - - - - - - - - - - At her words, he slowly looks back at her, offering her another smile, "Kali, then go for what your heart wants. I won't stop you from doing what you want~ I can't stop you..." As he speaks, he closes his eyes, his smile not fading or faltering. He had to be true in his words, right? Not that he wasn't, but a good smile helped."Who cares if I'm better or not, that shouldn't matter in your decision at this point~ Please don't worry about me. That's the last thing you should be doing." Kaito moves the hand on her head in a repetitive, sweeping motion - petting, to an extent. "if you don't want to do it, then don't."
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Post by Admiral Striker General on Nov 15, 2010 4:10:40 GMT -5
"But I..." she whimpered. "I don't want to hurt.. someone I care about.." Her head was spinning, a dull pain fogging her thoughts. "And I don't want to keep waiting in vain.. And I don't want to give up..." She paused for a few moments before finishing, "But I don't want to be alone..."
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Post by ★ Ryuujin ! on Nov 15, 2010 5:55:35 GMT -5
★ KAITO ★ It's typical - create a world, a special place of my design.By my admission nothing grows. Just a longer list of throes. - - - - - - - - - - - - "Kali, slow down, you're running in circles with this." He speaks rather quickly before taking in a deep breath, pausing himself before continuing, calmer this time, "If you want Yue, don't give up, especially if he's shown signs of possibly liking you back, but if you don't want to be alone, and you don't want to wait in vain, then you should find someone. It's a decision, a tough one, I know - one that has both a consequence and a bonus, in certain ways. While you gain something you'll enjoy, you lose what you really want." He finishes, nearly humming, trying to lighten the mood. With that, he shifts once again, continuing, "You need to take what you want, Kali. You know how they say nice guys finish last, right? You need to be assertive to yourself, tell the voices that argue in your head to shut up and be quiet so you can actually make that decision."
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Post by Admiral Striker General on Nov 15, 2010 7:11:24 GMT -5
For a long time, she was silent as she tried to take it all in. If... he'd shown signs, huh? Well, she'd thought he had for a while, but... Arceus almighty, what did that all mean if not? Did he just enjoy toying with her? But if that were the case, he shouldn't have been so turned-away so suddenly.. ...Could it be that he really was just fooling around, as she'd claimed she'd been? But that just didn't seem like Leon (and wouldn't he be just as open with other girls then?), and that still didn't explain the harsh rejection..
The only explanation she could find over those long minutes hit her like a small planet, and utterly crushed her heart. C-could it be.... Was it possible..... Might he think of her as..... a daughter...? That..... that would explain the affection.. the closeness... and why a 'real' kiss was suddenly so different... why he insisted on her being a child.... The time.... he'd said he loved her... when she'd assumed he was teasing, since he didn't seem to find it all that significant... If it was... a paternal thing.....
Oh dear God... Granted, that... didn't explain quite everything... Kissing her neck, for instance: while perhaps not so intimate as lips, depending on who you asked, it still certainly wasn't something most fathers would do to their daughters. And these few tiny such inconsistencies gave her just enough to cling to. But it was still the only thing that made any sense at all, let alone so much, and.... Fight as she may, she couldn't quite hold back all her tears, and several fell in cold silence before she managed to force herself to calm.
And somehow, despite this sheer overwhelming epiphany, she couldn't quite bring herself to give up. Quitting simply wasn't in her nature- surely there was still something that she could do to eventually.... Aagghhh.... But then... there was still Kaito.
'If you don't want to be alone...' She didn't. She knew how pathetic that seemed, especially at her age. All the times she'd laughed and poked fun at the easy girls or hopeless romantics she'd known in school for 'needing' someone else so badly, only to find herself now.... 'You need to take what you want...' But she didn't know, dammit.. She wanted... to be loved... But how could she possibly begin to know how to-.....
Kali had been silent, lost in these thoughts, for nearly five minutes when something finally occurred to her. He kept talking and asking about her, but... She wasn't the only one here this may affect, was she? At long last, she drew a ragged breath before asking, "What do you want....?"[/size]
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Post by ★ Ryuujin ! on Nov 15, 2010 8:17:10 GMT -5
★ KAITO ★ It's typical - create a world, a special place of my design.By my admission nothing grows. Just a longer list of throes. - - - - - - - - - - - - Catching sight of her aura as it exploded with emotion, he blinked, almost able to feel the intensity of it as if it were a breeze thorough the air. W-what did I do... He couldn't help but to wonder before her question fell out, causing him to blink in confusion. W-what... did he want? Looking down at this, he mulled it over in his head, turning it upside down, inside out and twisting it every way it could go - and he himself still wasn't sure. "Why does it matter of what I want?" He finally asks, not raising his gaze. He wasn't sure if he could handle her aura anymore... those looks... that... everything. It drove his complex up a freaken' wall. "Here I am, telling you all of this, and even I don't know what I want. I never really... put much thought into it."
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Post by Admiral Striker General on Nov 15, 2010 9:46:38 GMT -5
That really didn't help... How was she supposed to be able to give an answer if she didn't know-.... "Y-..you say you'd be 'happy to be with me'... you 'wouldn't mind', and so-on... She sighed softly. "But... do you want me...?" After a few seconds, she gave a small meep and blushed profusely as she suddenly realized how that might be taken... especially with them on the bed.. and her still shirtless.. and.. She mentally twitched a bit, but decided against correcting herself in hopes he just wouldn't notice.
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Post by ★ Ryuujin ! on Nov 16, 2010 3:55:57 GMT -5
★ KAITO ★ It's typical - create a world, a special place of my design.By my admission nothing grows. Just a longer list of throes. - - - - - - - - - - - - As it were, realization of just how heavy the words she spoke were hit him about the same time as they hit her, causing a blush that equally rivaled hers to crawl across his face. And then it evolved, embarrassment evolved into confusion, then settled on a dangerous mix of humor and all around seriousness, "Kali, that's a dangerous question to ask a man..." And his tone certainly showed his mood, a soft laugh escaping around it. "Kali, I.... yes... I would. But, I don't matter here..." the mood seemed to fade quickly along with his voice, the man falling silent once again, an indescribable emotion flashing across his eyes.
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Post by Admiral Striker General on Nov 16, 2010 4:49:18 GMT -5
Where his mood seemed to settle with his answer, her own reaction was quite the opposite. Her blush grew rather brighter as he gave her an answer she'd both longed for and feared, and for the hundredth time put all focus on her. It was... strange, to say the least- having someone so concerned with her wants like this. It was such a guilty pleasure, but a pleasure all the same. Still, she just couldn't accept that. As nice as it was to be the object of worry for a change, how could he try to act like he didn't matter at all? Looking up to him without even trying to mask these feelings, she asked, "And why not...?"
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Post by ★ Ryuujin ! on Nov 16, 2010 5:30:26 GMT -5
★ KAITO ★ It's typical - create a world, a special place of my design.By my admission nothing grows. Just a longer list of throes. - - - - - - - - - - - - The next question was one he certainly wasn't expecting, and it made his breath hitch in his throat. It wasn't like it was a bad question... or even remotely dirty. But, part of him wondered just why she seemed so adamant on finding out what he wanted. This really wasn't about him... was it? "I just... because I... I don't. This isn't about me, it shouldn't be." He began, tripping through his words as he spoke. Damn, I sound pathetic... The thought crossed his mind with a tad of inner laughter. Oh well... "My say... is just..." He cuts himself off once again, the features on his face contorting in thought and resolve. "I fear, what I say, may take you away from what you really want to do..."
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Post by Admiral Striker General on Nov 16, 2010 5:49:27 GMT -5
She listened intently, unable to decide whether this was more touching or annoying, though certain it was quite a lot of both. She understood his position, she supposed, but that didn't really change.... "And how am I supposed to figure out what I really want without knowing exactly how you feel..?" He clearly cared a good deal, but... Just how much was that? She didn't really know him well enough to say how much of this was personal and how much was just general chivalry, nor could she guess on her own just what he would want from a relationship, as he'd asked her..
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Post by ★ Ryuujin ! on Nov 17, 2010 0:24:53 GMT -5
★ KAITO ★ It's typical - create a world, a special place of my design.By my admission nothing grows. Just a longer list of throes. - - - - - - - - - - - - "Well, I-" He quickly cut himself off, his concentration on keeping his blush down distracting him a little from his words, "You know now, how I do, so why would- that shouldn't matter..." He managed to get out, obviously a little flustered. If there was any time that it would stick out like a sore thumb that he had never had much interaction with other women, it was now, and that was part of the reason for the pink tint across his features, the other... was quite obvious itself.
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Post by Admiral Striker General on Nov 17, 2010 0:44:49 GMT -5
As the lord of all analyzation and logic began to fumble his speech so terribly, it honestly was difficult not to laugh despite herself. Giving a light smirk instead both out of the urge to laugh and at the irony of the thought she now had, she murmured with the slightest teasing tone, "Nice guys finish last, Kaito..." Echoes could be such a bitch.
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Post by ★ Ryuujin ! on Nov 17, 2010 1:00:05 GMT -5
★ KAITO ★ It's typical - create a world, a special place of my design.By my admission nothing grows. Just a longer list of throes. - - - - - - - - - - - - Hearing the words fall from her mouth drew him out of his state of confusion, hitting him in the face, hard, leaving behind an odd stinging sensation. Looking at her with an almost mischievous smile, Kaito found his confidence again, "In that case... what would you prefer, Kali? Me to pour my heart out to you and make everything that much harder, or hell, maybe even easier to an extent, or to be polite about it and keep things in th-" He cut himself off, placing a smirk on his face instead of the words, choosing a different path to finish with. "Which would you prefer?"
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