Why Pokemon Do NOT Need to Be Real:

[Admiral Striker General]

'xD; I KNOW what you're all thinking if you've never been exposed to the levels of Nightmare Fuel SG has. "What?! Of COURSE they do! Pokemon would be AWESOME! Don't you wanna be a REAL trainer? What kind of fan ARE you?"

No they don't, no it would NOT, yes I do, but a realistic one. 'xD;


Ignoring the 50+ others excluding legendaries, and excluding the fact that Pokemon are essentially small Weapons of Mass Destruction controlled by mostly immature children and raging hormone teenagers, let's look into one specifically that is especially terrifying: HAUNTER. :3

"D: Haunter isn't scary! It's cute and playful!"

Oh no my friends. Haunter is potentially the scariest shit EVER. xD


1) Haunter is the primary reason why Lick is a Ghost-type move. HAUNTER'S lick, specifically, does not only cause paralysis. It causes a very slow paralysis and increasingly intense seizures until the victim finally, at long last, after much suffering, dies from them. This is from a single lick mind you. Seriously, (Soul)Silver Dex: "Its tongue is made of gas. If licked, its victim starts shaking constantly until death eventually comes."


2) Of course, according to the Platinum Dex, it doesn't even NEED to be the tongue: "It likes to lurk in the dark and tap shoulders with a gaseous hand. Its touch causes endless shuddering." Debatably, perhaps only the tongue is FATAL and other touches will just make you WISH you were dead. :3


3) Diamond Dex: "It can slip through any obstacle. It lurks inside walls to keep an eye on its foes."


4) RS Dex: "Haunter is a dangerous Pokémon." (SURPRISE!) "If one beckons you while floating in darkness, you must never approach it. This Pokémon will try to lick you with its tongue and steal your life away."


5) Here's the icing, though. CRYSTAL Dex: "It hides in the dark, planning to take the life of the next living thing that wanders close by."

And just for fun, FireRed: "If you get the feeling of being watched in darkness when nobody is around, Haunter is there."

===

So let's put all this together shall we! 8'D

This means that Haunter can and will cause you ENDLESS SUFFERING, OR a very LONG suffering and EVENTUAL death. It can blend into shadows and phase right through walls. Unlike some ghosts, though, it is not stated in any info to FEAR or be WEAKENED by the light- it just PREFERS shadows. If it's dark, it's PROBABLY there somewhere. YOU CANNOT RUN OR HIDE, BECAUSE NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE, IT CAN GET TO YOU. And you USUALLY won't see it coming. And it desires nothing more than to kill you, FOR NO REASON EXCEPT THAT YOU ARE ALIVE.



8'D Haunter. Is. SCARY. SHIT.

x'3 And on its own shows why Pokemon should NOT be real.. xD

[EvilDragonGod]

And this is another reason why.

[Daci]

Eh, I'd rather be killed by a Haunter then a Cougar Besides, if Pokemon were real, it'd probably be like the games or the Anime. That's the general thought with the "Pokemon are real." type thing. Haunter are rare, too.

Besides, they give REALLY weak Pokemon at the beginnings of the games and journeys. They are powerful in their own right, but against anything to shake a stick at, meh. It's mostly the AWESOME factor. I want an Electrike and a Furret.

[Admiral Striker General]

The GAMES is where this info COMES FROM, Daci.. 'xD; And if people wanted EXACTLY the game experience we'd all be mute, so that's ruled out too.

Pokemon would have Persian and Luxray and the like too. So instead of being killed by a large cat with big teeth and claws, you could be killed by a large(r) cat with big teeth and claws wielding magical elemental powers.

In response to your other, they give currently low-leveled Pokemon with the potential to become extremely powerful. The VG cats is an over-the-top parody, obviously, though I HAD already briefly mentioned that factor in my own post. Many starters fully trained are among the best Pokemon in the meta-game, though.

For instance, Swampert is especially popular due to being an excellent tank as well as the most powerful member of its useful and rare type combination. In a real-life situation, it would have that in addition to the ability to literally cause floods and earthquakes on a whim. Charizard isn't quite as big in competitive, but it's up there, and I don't think I really need to explain the problem with giving a 10-yr-old something that will become a FIRE-BREATHING-DRAGON. 'xD; Plenty of others cause earthquakes and/or floods and/or have fire randomly escaping their body as well as the ability to willingly shoot it. ':3 Venusaur is also poisonous.

:'3 In response to your Electrike, consider sticking your finger in a light socket. Now an electric fence. (If you've never had the pleasure to touch one, SG has; it knocked her over four feet backward through the air before she even knew what had happened, and that was BARELY grazing it. x'3) Now consider nigh all electric Pokemon are MUCH stronger than THAT even with a light jolt. :3 If even ONE. SINGLE. TIME. that Electrike questioned your orders or grew angry and shocked you as electric Pokemon tend to do PRETTY OFTEN IN the light nice anime you compared the wish to, injury is ensured and death isn't unlikely. 'x3;


Furret WOULD be epic for sure, minus slight potential danger in its fighting ability far surpassing what any normal pet would have. x3 But then, Furret IS just a REALLY FUCKING BIG ferret. xD And ferrets are win if high maintenance themselves. (:'< And now I miss my ferrets.)


x3 So that is, YES. A FEW species would be epic, as long as they were not overtrained or misused. STILL VERY DANGEROUS. But not all THAT much more than a lion or something, which people do rarely keep as pets just fine. Mostly, smaller normal-types might be okay usually, without external moveset help. Anything else is kind of deadly. x3

So again, "I wish Pokemon were real" is really a dangerous and terrible wish. "I wish insert-species were real" could vary. ;P

[Daci]

Still rather be killed by a Luxray then a Cougar. That'd be AWESOME. And, most times in the Anime, people survive said Electrical Attacks. In fact, all it really ever does is char their skin, clothing and make their hair stand up. At the most.

And don't we already have some dangerous animals out there? I think it'd be okay. Hell, my REAL team would be:

Arcanine
Manectric
Lucario
Furret
Flygon
Gyarados
Ampharos
Umbreon
Luxray

BTW- Champion Team.

So there. Those are some of my fave Pokemon and imagine, they are now real. Not only are they real, they are under the 14-year-old power of Daci. Now don't you feel safer? -hitches a ride on Gyarados and rides around town-

[Admiral Striker General]

You understand that you have no concept whatsoever of realism, right? That is, if Luxray WERE real, it would no longer be more awesome. That is, it's only BECAUSE it's currently a fantasy what-if that it seems any more appealing at all. While you MAY still prefer Luxray to a cougar if it were real, it would be more like "I'd rather be killed by a lion than a bear." I mean, if you're going to get mauled may as well be by an animal you like. '^^; But neither is "awesome"- you're still getting mauled.

It is very clearly stated in both the anime and the games that electric Pokemon give of attacks of thousands of volts. Your local light socket- which can kill on its own in some cases- is 110 or 220. If Pokemon were real, you would not be immune to their attacks as animeverse humans are. They would be equivalent to sticking your finger into anywhere between 10 and 100 light sockets at the same time. '^^;

Realistically speaking- that is, applying our-world mechanics and limitations to facts stated about each species:

Arcanine would burn you to be even too close to it, let alone touch it. If you made it angry for any reason it could incinerate you.

We've discussed electric types for Manectric and Ampharos and Luxray. In those three particular cases you also wouldn't be able to touch it without at minimum strong discomfort and your hair standing on end. Manectric and Luxray also qualify as either a wolf or large cat, complete with big teeth and claws and predatory instincts.

The aura energy Lucario uses has to come from somewhere. Most likely in a real-world setting this would be the life-force of itself to an extent and/or things around it including you. Barring that possibility it's still a predatory animal who is now also capable of advanced martial arts and has metal spikes potruding from its body, likely with skin or fur as hard as steel too.

Furret works for the most part as long as it only had level-up moves. :3 It WOULD be a handful times ten and likely get you into fucktons of trouble, but bearable.

Flygon is a cross between a dragon and a six-and-a-half-foot bug. Capable of causing earthquakes on a whim. It flies at proportionate speeds to insects as well, as shown in part by the similar buzz made by its wings; at a massive 6'07", good luck catching it if it doesn't want to come to you. Given the behavior of Trapinch it is also most likely predatory, or at best an omnivore.

Gyarados would eat you. Then go on a town-destroying rampage, either before or after flooding it. This doesn't need to be argued.

Finally, Umbreon might not be so bad. It's always been my logic that Dark moves work on a highly mental level, and while nothing in canon contradicts it to my knowledge there's also nothing DIRECTLY stating it, so all right. We'll say most of its moves only have an elemental effect when attacking something susceptible to dark=pain, which should exclusively be other Pokemon, and any special moves are a general mild ambiguous energy that shouldn't be TOO painful to humans. It glows in the dark, but not due to radioactivity or anything, so actually pretty handy. It's a fair size, based upon an animal that has been domesticated, omnivorous and perfectly likely to accept commercial pet foods. Yes, it may even be the best choice of Eeveelution to make real past Eevee itself. .... Oh, wait, I did forget ONE detail. IT SWEATS FUCKING HIGHLY TOXIC POISONS. '^^; Not only when its hot, either, so there's no way to prevent it from doing so if it decides it wants/needs to. Yes, this could be a minor problem in keeping one.

[Daci]

Yes, good points on all fronts. Except you missed one tiny detail in your logic... Alot of your points are ASSUMPTIONS.

You have no way to prove that Lucario takes Aura from other beings. It doesn't say that on any of the official Pokemon Info sites AND never seen that in the Anime, either. In fact, there are statements I've seen that say "it eminates a powerful Aura." That being said, probably means it generates it's own. And while it DOES say it can read and catch the Aura of others, this doesn't mean it SUCKS OUT YOUR LIFE FORCE LIKE A SOUL-STEALING VAMPIRE!

Two, you also have no way to prove it's skin is hard as Steal. I have seen them quite easily knocked back in battle and sometimes even bruised/hurt/cut. That said, you must also remember they are FIGHTING types, meaning exceptionally good at fighting/combat. So less likely to be taken down and ripped open then say, a Burmy.

Finally, Lucario not only have the ability to fully understand and comprehend the speech of Humans- Not that most Pokemon don't seem to, considering their Anime and in-game Reactions. And I'm not just talking about basic commands here, I've seen them listening, fantasizing and answering random questions with nods or simple barks/noises. But, Lucario also is said to have the ability to Speak human, although only one has done this. That said, it is also very possible to be able to reason with it. Not only it, but many other Pokemon. So if it was raised right or if you have ideas on mutual ground, your most likely safe. Same way it's safe to say your BFF or relative wouldn't hurt you. Entirely possible and it can happen, but also unlikely and unusual. Same with ANY animal, person or thing.

Also, that being said again, many Pokemon would probably be able to be reasoned with(again, I'm basing off the anime/game here because that IS what most people fantasize becoming real). So unless they were in a fit of uncontrollable rage, such as Giratina was, you could probably reason with a better part of them. And they are TRAINED most of the time. It's NOT like capturing a wild Tiger, putting it in your house and expecting it not to eat you. The trainers carefully guide and train their Pokemon. Plus, most Pokemon in the anime seem to be benevolent unless raised to be otherwise. Again, a RAMPAGING GYARADOS might be good at heart, just angry. We all get angry.

And, most Electric Types in the games AND Anime seem to have exceptional control over their powers unless they are A: Baby Pokemon like Pichu. B: In the middle of a thunderstorm where they can get zapped by lightning. But if you have your beloved friend out with you in a thunderstorm when it can easily be safe in it's Pokeball, your probably quite insane and shouldn't have taken it with you in the first place. Not putting this past some people I know. But if they were stupid/cruel enough to do that, then they deserve whatever fate befalls them. Like the old saying goes “The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.” ~ Quite literally.

The control thing also goes with Umbreon. You could probably just simply tell it that it's sweat hurts you, if it didn't already connect the fact "Poison sweat = bad for human friends." Like I said, Pokemon seem to be fairly intelligent. And if it WANTED to hurt you, it was either A: Poorly trained B: Abused. (winkwink, insert lightning quote here)

Also with Flygon, I've seen it several times in the games and Anime and I've never heard it make the "wing-buzzing sound." Not that that much matters, but again TRAIN IT/TALK TO IT.

The Train it rule basically goes with all of them. Also, being "mauled" is getting more common, but most Cougares/Lions prefer to NOT attack humans if they have other prey available. It's not like a Luxray would wake up one day, see a human and decide "Hmm... I shall attack them for no apparent reason. They are tall, boney, will probably fight back, most likely taste awful, and WHY NOT?! I mean, there's a good Stantler and even a Sentret right over there that'd prolly be easier. Lets go for the harder prey!" No. That's not how most animals think.

Humans are not natural prey. Most animals DON'T attack us on a regular basis unless they are either rabid, accidental, STARVING, or can easily get away with it(ex: Mosquito).

[Admiral Striker General]

I'm quite certain I did say that they were assumptions, in fact. That would be very much the point of "likely" and "could" and "but even without that possibility" and other such phrases which you seem to have quite missed.

...No. No Lucario actually are not stated, by any account, to be able to speak. The single one did so- the titular character of a movie, movies being considered less canon than even the anime by most fans, at that. In this, you are now the one making assumptions, that because a single centuries-old Lucario could speak it means others ever had the potential.

...=o In FACT, canon would state quite the contrary! More likely, the reason for Lucario's speaking WAS the time in which it was born. According to the accounts in the Canalave library, long ago ALL Pokemon could speak as clearly as any human. Over time, however, this faded, so that the more time that passes, the rarer and rarer it is for ANY individual to speak: not even all legends can. And in fact, if you notice, it is generally- though not always- the oldest legends which ARE the ones able to speak. (This further supports that both (all three?) of the Mew seen in movies are in fact not ancient or all-powerful by any means, but that's a very different debate indeed.) For example, Jirachi and Lugia, along with the very old Lucario, could speak. The newborn Manaphy (not counting parlor-trick some-RL-dogs-do-as-well "love you"), young-ish Latios and Latias, only-up-to-300-yr-old-and-only-if-it-was-the-Original Suicune and Raikou, fairly-recently-created Deoxys, and others could not. Sometimes not EVEN the ancient ones can speak, and even seem to have MORE difficulty than average understanding words. Examples include not only the Dragon Trio, which do have the excuse of being created long before humanity and having been secluded from it, but also the Regindaries (who admittedly may or may not have been very young OR old, though at minimum given his temple Regigigas seemed to be at least FAIRLY old), etc. Celebi has the excuse of existing across time and possibly coming from a time before or after speech was common. Darkrai and Shaymin each may or may not have been too very old, and could have been exceptions (seemingly, given all the other Shaymin, at least in the time we saw them, and the other Darkrai we saw did not talk). "Entei" was created from a human dream, and took human traits. Mewtwo was built exclusively by humans. Arceus, of course, made EVERYTHING, including humans and their language. At any rate, there DOES seem to be an at least MOSTLY consistent correlation between time and speech, with the only 100% certain case of a Pokemon that is both very young AND able to speak fluently being Team Rocket's Meowth, who is canonically considered a freak by a number of other Pokemon.


As to Pokemon that are able to understand, you may be surprised. Real animals often can just as well, and not just with training. (TL;DR version after long rant if you prefer.) A personal account I can give of surprising intelligence: I once had a horse named Jacob. It was very clear to anyone that Jacob was very smart. He did not like to be ridden (he preferred the life of a thousand-pound field-dwelling dog), and would suck in as much air as he could and hold his breath while a saddle was being put on him. If the to-be rider didn't know him or notice and force him to let it out first, he would then wait until the rider was mounted and release his breath, causing the now-too-loose saddle to slide and the rider to fall off. x3 Once, a rather heavyset woman came over and my mother invited her to ride. Jacob took a few staggering steps and collapsed; the woman felt HORRIBLE, and no better for the fact that he limped off after. Later when my mother went out with food, he whinnied excitedly and galloped across the field flawlessly. When the woman came out back to check on him, he suddenly began to limp again. x'3 Yes, Jacob was crafty. But few believe me when I give accounts such as one day grooming him. It was a rough winter, hay was expensive, and the field was getting a bit ragged. So we let him and our donkey into the back yard- quite large- to work on that untouched grass for a few days. So I was on the back porch grooming him one day, and decided to sit on the step while I brushed a front leg. When done, I looked up and asked him, "Could you give me your other leg?" He looked at me a moment, picked it up, and tapped the ground. "Yeah, that one," I said. He proceeded to switch legs, and the grooming went on. :3 Later, when finished, I was spraying him with fly spray- something he and every other horse I've known DESPISED. I got one side, but he was already walking off. "Oh come on!" Nothing. "I could probably get a decent coating in... five squirts?" Nothing. "Eh, fine, FOUR." He stopped. One squirt. Two. Three. Four. And he began to trot off. Of course, as he did I reached after him and squirted his flank yelling "Five! >D", which only served to piss him off. x3 But YES. You cannot tell me that horse did not BLATANTLY understand every word out of our mouths.


TL;DR: I had a horse that could very clearly understand human speech too. It didn't make the stubborn thing any easier to reason with if he didn't feel like it though.


Also, it's actually stated at a few points in random anime episodes that PokeBalls do more than just let a Pokemon fit in your pocket. They facilitate the understanding of human speech, place a limiter on a Pokemon's power (it's true; this is why Cyrus required the Red Chain to go after his legends, as Capturing them would have decreased their power too much to be able to create a new universe), and actually brainwash a Pokemon into obeying its original trainer. This can be seen in that traded ones are often extremely unruly for those they have not come to naturally respect, including Ash's Charmeleon/Charizard (if you recall, it actually WAS another trainer's before his).

So that is, while applying real-world physics to Pokemon (the flamethrowers, thundershocks, etc) STILL makes the EXTREMELY DANGEROUS, it's not the ones you've already captured I'm talking about so much as the Wild ones. Or that is, it's not a matter of once you have them, it's a matter of having gotten them in the first place.

:3 This applies to your "carefully trained" argument too. No, it ISN'T like catching a wild tiger and expecting it not to eat you once you've caught it, because AFTER you catch it it is BRAINWASHED to listen to you by the glorious little device it now calls home. However, the PROCESS of catching it IS like going to try to catch a wild tiger... except one that shoots lightning or icicles or balls of poison at you. And is more resilient. And that it would be considered "cheating" to just use a tranq gun on. x'P

x'3 Also, we all KNOW a rampaging Gyarados is just angry and that Gyarados can be big cuddly softies. The problem is EVERYTHING MAKES them angry. And it doesn't really matter WHY it went on the rampage once people are dead, does it? (Translation: Fit-of-passion Murder 2 is still considered Murder. The sentence isn't QUITE as severe as pre-meditated Murder 1, but it's still Murder.)


They "seem to" have control over their electric like fire-types "seem to" breathe fire that completely chars and blackens the skin but somehow doesn't actually do long-term damage? There comes a point when one must distinguish between evidence to a point and pure unrealistic mechanic changes made for the sole purpose of making the show appropriate for its target audience of 10-yr-olds. That Ponyta can make flames with light but not heat I can accept. That electricity and fire and such ATTACKS are always "tiny warnings" when they clearly do significant damage but said damage only lasts a matter of seconds I cannot.

"It's either poorly trained or abused." Or you aren't the original trainer and it hasn't had time to be properly trained without brainwashing assistance yet. Or it "just got angry". Or it's just a spiteful individual, because even in the best-trained animals and the seemingly-closest people, there are just some individuals that seem to enjoy being pissy/grumpy/sour all the time, even when you're always there for them and take spectacular care of them. Also, Umbreon would STILL be sweating poison when it was hot, greatly limiting the number of places one could safely keep one.

It's clearly stated in nigh-all of its Dex entries that Flygon's wings make a humming noise, resulting in its "Spirit of the Desert" nickname. Given proportions, wing-build, and the fact it does clearly seem to have some dragonfly basis, the insect "buzz" translated to Flygon's size should be a sound about like that. In case the wing shape and dragonfly basis ALONE weren't enough to say it's speeds are proportionate to a dragonfly. And again, not a matter of once caught, it's a matter of catching or if you're NOT the OT or if it gets angry, etc.


x3 I UNDERSTAND Luxray wouldn't randomly attack you. The Luxray argument only came up when you said you'd rather be killed by a Pokemon than a cougar, and that was the first good correlation I thought of for a WORSE cougar. Back to the REASON that argument came up, Haunter WOULD try to kill you. FOR BEING ALIVE. Not for food, but because that's what it DOES. This HAPPENED IN THE ANIME, if you recall. Because, AGAIN, the show is targetted toward 10-yr-olds, the effects were temporary. However, think back to season one, and when Haunter licked Ash, he began shaking violently and had that uber-weird "out of body experience" where he flew around as a ghost with the ghosts. Yeah. Ash DIED. 'x3; Flat-out.

Most animals DON'T attack us. :3 Not all Pokemon are animals. And not all of them would attack as prey.

• ALL ghost Pokemon are scary as hell, period. The only and I repeat only exceptions are Sableye, which is fairly seclusive and mostly only interested in (at-least-intended-as-)harmless pranks if anything at all to do with humans though its design still makes it a dangerous foe if angered, and Shuppet, which is literally 100% harmless to humans and adorable. :3 Seriously. Shuppet could do as much damage as a possessed sock. x3 MAYBE poke you with that horn, but the horn is dull and would be like a human finger poking. All the others will either hunt you to the ends of the earth and/or kill you and/or take your soul, by canon accounts. Drifloon are usually too small to do damage, but in their case it isn't for lack of trying.
  
• Hypno is the cross between the pied piper and the boogeyman. It (by which I mean wild ones) lures children away and does... who knows what with them. It may eat them. It may kill them for no reason. It may be a pedo. It may take them to a magical place of joy and wonder where they can enjoy childhood innocence forever. 'x3; The point is no matter what it does, it's scary to the FRIENDS AND FAMILY of those children, because we DON'T KNOW what happened to them, and at least POSSIBLY to the kids themselves. It IS, of course, IMPLIED that whatever Hypno does isn't good though, given the little girl in FRLG who is being chased by a "scary" Pokemon and crying.
  
• Most legends actually seem to show little love of humans if not explicitly raised around them, nowadays. That alone is a scary though, without specifics.
  
• :'D UNOWN. Canon Eldrith Abomination for the loss. Thank God they're rare, but holy shit. In swarms the things can RIVAL THE POWER OF A GOD, and seem to have NO conscience or individual consciousness for that matter: it's all a hive mind. It's possible to manipulate them, if one has the proper tools (but dear lord imagine that same thing in the wrong hands!), and it's possible to reason with small swarms, but VERY, VERY difficult.
  
• Wild Froslass freeze victims solid and keep them as trophies.
  
• An excellent couter-point to your friendly fire, Houndoom's flames cause burns that NEVER heal. There is no "if it wants to" clause. They do. Period.
  
• Here's a scary one for a TRAINER! Not for their own danger, but their heartache. If a Spoink stops bouncing more than a few moments, its heart will stop and IT WILL DIE. You could be the best trainer ever. All it would take was some smart-ass or a kitty going "PLAY TOY<3" and pouncing or what have you.
  
• Conversely, if a Slakoth tries to move too quickly for any reason, its heart will over-exert and IT will die. Again, wouldn't have to be any fault of the trainer.
  
• Cacturne is like a vulture... except a four-foot-tall possessed cactus with elemental powers who has no trouble delivering the killing blow as soon as its people-OR-Pokemon prey collapses. (Nevermind if it's nearly dead or just temporarily exhausted.)
  
• Darkrai causes endles, devastating nightmares. To ANYTHING nearby. NO. IT CANNOT TURN IT OFF IF YOU ASK IT TO. EVEN IF IT'S TRAINED. EVEN IF IT'S THE MOST WELL-TRAINED POKEMON IN EXISTENCE. EVEN IF IT LOVES YOU WITH EVERY FIBER OF ITS BEING. It TRIES to turn it off and is PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE. :'D ... Granted Darkrai are RARE AS HELL, but STILL. xD IF there's one nearby, they can and will affect an entire small city or equivalent area.
  
• Mewtwo. Just Mewtwo<3 (Granted that panned out.. x3 But if they were real things wouldn't have occurred in exactly the same way as canon because those humans wouldn't have existed, so it may or may not still be psychotic and rampaging. ... 8'D In other news, if you take ALL canon into account, MEWTWO IS THE CANON POKEMORPH. xD For serious yo~<3 Not adding to the nightmare fuel unless the concept of real-life animal-human hybrids scares or unnerves you, just saying cuz it's win. x3 That IS why it looks more humanoid than Mew despite being "cloned", though: Blaine added his own DNA~)
  
• Alakazam. While most likely more a matter of Did Not Do the Research, since an IQ test only goes up to 200 points, IF its "IQ of 5000" holds any merit, it means a single Alakazam is 250 times more intelligent than the most intelligent humans have ever dreamed of being. Go research "Nikolas Tesla" (the man was working on a REAL-LIFE DEATH RAY<3), arguably the brightest single mind known to somewhat-modern-ish science. 8'3 Now imagine what MULTIPLE Alakazam could accomplish. Now ask yourself: why would a creature that smart have any interest in being subservient or even equal to something as pitiful as a human? x3 Friendship is our ONLY hope, and we couldn't possibly befriend every last one on earth. :"D Even if we did, they'd start to catch on that at least some of them were "befriended" for the PURPOSE of keeping them from destroying or enslaving us. 8'3 The "if its trainer was stupid enough to evolve it" etc "deserves his fate" excuse is also void, because all it takes is ONE stupid trainer to doom the WORLD<3
  
• Voltorb. ^^ Normally larger in games and anime, they totally ARE sometimes the very same size as a PokeBall; this is even COMMON by some canon. If you see a wild one from behind, you could totally not realize the mistake until it explodes. :3
  
• Golbat is a vampire bat. It does in fact canonically feed on blood, at LEAST the wild ones, both of humans and Pokemon. It does not stop until it is full. The average Golbat is taller than many of our members at 5-foot-effing-3 and weighs as much or more than some at 121 pounds. 8'D Blood bank anyone?
  
• Most animals don't attack humans without severe provocation. If hungry, large enough snakes will. Ekans, Arbok, and Seviper are ALL large enough to eat at least children (Ekans) if not adults (others), as well as extremely poisonous. ^^ Also Seviper has a SWORD for a TAIL!
  
• Gulpin and Swalot also have minimal morals: they're designed to eat, and eat, and eat. They're not very social by nature, don't really have other hobbies, etc. They just.. eat. They can also expand exponentially to swallow things the size of.. say.. cars. ^^
  
• Gligar is also one who does not differentiate between humans and other prey. It swoops, latches (often to the face), and injects its prey with venom. ... And if Gligar wasn't bad enough, it EVOLVES. Has anyone else here ever realized that Gliscor is SIX-FOOT-EFFING-SEVEN? 8'D No. Contrary to what I tried to comfort myself with at night for some time, this does NOT include the tail. [Pics~]
  
• A majority of bugs. Just like your mosquito example, bugs tend to have little to no diversion from going for humans. This is not because "they can easily get away with it", but because they make no distinction between human and animal. The list of dangerous bugs and why is a bit lengthy given how enormous this post already is, but I'd like to point out it's not just the obvious ones. Beautifly would be our new mosquito, for instance, jabbing that long mouth into skin and sucking not just "blood", but "fluids"...any or all of them. :3 Cascoon is also highly vengeful and is said to remember the faces of every foe that attacks it during its cocoon stage to seek revenge upon evolution. Given the relationship, Silcoon is likely similar.
  
• Birds are aggressive. Birds in the anime were aggressive. A flock of Spearow NEARLY KILLED Ash and Pikachu in the FIRST episode, because Ash hit one with a rock. Overreaction much? ;D And that was the small birds. x3
  
• D; Less scary and more OMFG. Have you ever REALLY thought about the fact that while Snorunt is pure Ice, Froslass is Ice/Ghost? What, EXACTLY, is this implying?
  
• Most fossil Pokemon, especially Kabutops and Aerodactyl. While rare, it HAS been shown many times that in some places wild, naturally occurring ones do still exist.

8'D There is MORE than enough nightmare fuel OUTSIDE just "this and that Pokemon would be scary because", too, of course.

Some of them kind of PROVE that game/anime mechanics should not always be crossed with real-life, though. 'x3; Like the cut-scene in HGSS where you take Arceus to the Ruins of Alph, and it gets SWAMPED by the Unown, and then you go on a fricking acid trip through space-time? Yeah, it's stated that that happens EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. A Pokemon egg is created. Every time you left your poor Ditto with some unfortunate soul, etc. ... 'x3; I'm sorry, but I'm just gonna have to go with in the real world Pokemon would just operate via the Delibirds and the Combees like everything else. x3 So yeah....

8'D At ANY rate, that point is excellent support in this: You HAVE to pick a side. Either certain mechanics are there for effect and/or to shelter 10-yr-olds and would not function the same way in real life, or the TERRIFYING mechanics that don't seem plausible for our world would ALSO exist if Pokemon did.

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'x3; In conclusion to an ENTIRELY too lengthy rant....

Go read Pokemon Special aka Pokemon Adventures. You don't even have to go to the REALLY scary parts with Ruby(Brendan)'s abusive father and the Rayquaza/Kyogre/Groudon battle and Cyrus's already-scary Distortion World affair taken Up To Eleven; just read even the first generation, following Red, Blue, Green, and Yellow. In THAT canon, there is actually death and pain and things are taken seriously. .__. When Red gets to Lavender Town, there aren't just some playful Gastly, there are FRICKING ZOMBIES. (Or more specifically, ghosts are possessing and animating literal skin and bones and making the corpses attack things. x.x)

^__^ At ANY rate~<3 Read it. Tell me if it's as appealing or friendly. And then recall that Satoshi Tajiri, grand idol of us all, states that THAT is the best/truest interpretation of his world. :3 So when you say "Real Pokemon would be awesome", remember if there WAS someway to make them real, you may not have the OPTION to specify "which version", or what parts you do/don't want. ;D

[Admiral Striker General]

X3 Thanks to Jaxa, SG has found a new wintastic link.

www.comicsalliance.com/2011/03/15/weirdest-pokemon-black-white/?a_dgi=aolshare_twitter

X'3 And before anyone goes "Eh I don't really wanna read it", this article is actually HYSTERICAL in places. X3

ARE YOU FOR REAL, POKEMON!? A BALLOON THAT KIDNAPS CHILDREN?! WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HELL, MAN?

Seriously, these games are responsible for so many ruined birthday parties that I'm surprised they haven't introduced a party hat that controls your mind or a Christmas tree that punches grandmas.

[

[Lady Leaf]

Well, I say there is no real way to know for sure if you would want pokemon to be real or not. I mean the life style would be so different from what we have now that it's really impossible to know if you enjoy it or not without actually living in it first. Also, on a side note, the people seem happy enough in both the game/show/manga so it couldn't be all that bad even with the really frightening pokemon out there.

[Admiral Striker General]

"Crapsaccharine World". Look it up. x3 Deconstructed to hell by Team Plasma and N and even partially admitted in the end in BW. (That is, it's made very clear N and the player were BOTH right, else *spoilerspoiler* would never have happened.)

Case in point:
Most people are generally happy enough in our world too. Kind of. Actually I can make two points out of this.

1) Our world is infinitely less dangerous than theirs, yet a lot of people here are still exponentially less happy than those in the games/anime/manga: powerful evidence that the only reason they look happy is because it's a work of fiction intended to make the readers happy as well.

2) A lot of other people are still perfectly happy despite all the dangers in our world- cougars, bears, guns, cars. The Pokemon world has most everything ours has and so much more. Being able to be happy despite it doesn't mean your odds of dying would be lessened. x3

[Lady Leaf]

No, but it doesn’t change the fact that you would never know if you truly would like or dislike living a world where pokemon were real or not unless you actually lived it. So saying “I wouldn’t or I would want to live in the pokemon world’ is really not something you can fully judge unless you’ve done it. You never know if you’ll like or dislike something until you try it first hand.

[Admiral Striker General]

Did I say I or anyone would necessarily like it more or less? x3 No, I don't believe I have. I've only said WE WOULD ALL BE IN CONSTANT THREAT OF PERIL. XP Which shows why it's not so pure "D8 THAT WOULD BE SO AWESOME" as most of the fandom likes to flail and scream. And it's not just that they're ridiculously deadly magic-wielding fighting machines on their own, even. The real danger would be in IF THEY DID listen to people. x3;; The only thing- I don't believe there should be any disagreement to this- that keeps the Pokemon world we see running so smoothly is everyone's willingness to follow 'the rules'. As proof, occasionally they DON'T, and in the darker incarnations someone DIES. 'x3 Imagine a world where guns and knives weren't the only things people had to be afraid of kids bringing to school.

[Caden Bunny]

Lol I thought about this and looked up some pokemon as well to rofl at the way it would be IF IT WERE REAL!

Weedle: You all know the little guy that we don't seem to care about, right? Well it turns out that the horn on his head that is only two inches could poison you. This means that the smallest, weakest, strangest little bug out there can still kill you, or at least get you sick.

Caterpie: Probably the safest bug out there. Instead of poisoning you when you touch it, you simply receive a stench like a skunk. So yeah, you like the little bug over there? You think it's safe because it can only give you a bite from the one foot bug? Well, have fun, because a bump on it's antenna can fire off a stink that probably won't leave to alone.

Skarmory: All birds are scary.. and a metal bird is no better. If the fact that a steel plated bird that is actually light isn't scary enough, it's feathers that fall off can be picked up and used for a sword. You realize that means a feather could fall from the sky and stab you? Nice thought, right? ^^

GLOOM! Alright, so little Oddish wasn't so bad, but you decided that you want the perfect Bellossom. Too bad that one evolution is the end of it all. This Gloom can keep it's stench away only when it's secure and calm. That means that it can get too happy/sad/angry and release it's stink. This stink can knock you out WITHIN 1.25 MILES! That means that you must keep it neutral unless you are one of the 1 out of 1000 who enjoy this smell. If being knocked out wasn't bad enough though, it is stated that ONE WHIFF can cause MEMORY LOSS! You realize that means you are this nice little happily kid walking around, and you see a gloom. You go "Ew.. I don't want that." and go to walk away, and maybe you get away a bit, but then something ELSE upsets the gloom. Too bad that you have just been knocked out and maybe even forgot what you've known. Yeah.. and you wanted a Bellossom. ^^ I'll stick with my Oddish.

I didn't think Weedle was bad.. and Gloom is just TERRIBLE NOT. WORTH. THE. BELLOSSOM.

[Jay]

Bah x__x Scyther would be ungodly in the real world... *hides under blankets from killer bugs*

[Lady Leaf]

Im saying, how would know if the world would be more dangerous? You're simply using the suggestions of what the creators of pokemon have written. It's clear that there imaging on the pokemon through the show and how we've seen Ash interact with the pokemon are very different from the games. This mean's it's rather inconsistent. You’ve proven that with the fact’s you used on Haunter. In the game’s he is terrifying and deadly. In the show it liked to play jokes and well… it didn’t hurt Ash at all.

Human's in a pokemon world would adapt differently then we do now to survive. It's not entirely certain exactly how any of these pokemon would truly act. It's not certain how people would truly react. In a pokemon world we could be whipped out completely or live the way they do in the anime. Who knows. The only way to know those things for sure is to actually live it. Experience it. But we can't. We are limited to our imagination only. That’s all you are expressing here. One outcome of how pokemon being real could work. So to me, I feel that doesn't justify why pokemon shouldn't be real. It simply points out one outcome.

[Caden Bunny]

Sure, there are multiple outcomes, but the anime isn't ENTIRELY TRUE! Bug catchers would probably DIE trying to catch a weedle because it'll poison them. You want to ride on a skarmory? Too bad, it'll cut you open with it's wings by accident if you aren't EXTREMELY careful. Most pokemon have some kind of catch, or they could simply get angry and attack. If this happens, you have a lot more chance dying from them than some other pokemon. Think about it.. Growlithe, a FIRE PUPPY! It wants to play with you and starts jumping around, accidentally clawing you. That's not even the worst. What if it accidentally burnt you? OR it got mad at you and did it on purpose? Your now burnt because you had a puppy ^^

Some of these pokemon would cause disasters just by walking around. Now, also think about the legendaries. What about the two new ones they made that travel EVERYWHERE and cause Thunder/Tornadoes, along with the NATURAL ones. ^^ That means that you've just got more disasters hitting places that normally never get them. Only a few pokemon would be completely safe to be around. Caterpie would be one of these, because it has no horns or anything to poison you, and only acts like a skunk when it's really scared.

We could and probably would be wiped out, or people would have to rebel against pokemon and ship them off somewhere else so they couldn't do harm, and leave only the few that were DECENT to be around =3 *hugs sentret even if he hasn't done research to see if it would hurt him or not* ._. And my minccino! *hugs it too* =3 Gotta love normal types.

[Jay]

Caden Bunny : x3; a freak ton of NORMAL pokemon can learn elemental moves (ie: Thunderbolt, Ice Beam, Solar Beam, Shadow Ball, Brick Break, Surf, Double Edge, ect ect just to name of what Sentret CAN do >>. They're hard core potential to be dangerous is just as much as any other if not more. So what if a Growlithe can toast ya? A Sentret can electrocute you, freeze, you, blast you, send a dark ball from hell at you, break your bones, drown you, and kick you butt harder than any human on a whim 8V;;.

Lady Leaf: the idea though is the chronic in-consistent logic as well as the startling logic that has been set up would make the world a rather in-consistent more dangerous place. No one is denying that none of us would know for sure how people would react, but the idea is that when one transplants the world as we know it (ie true crime, guns, violence, social degradation) and give super powers (yes super powers) to pets/friends/ect/whatever-you-want-to-call-them-N then it would be a heck of a lot more dangerous to the normal people still in the world given that they can't (again by the assumption that it was our world at this moment in time ect ect ect) adapt. Those in the pokemon world (the anime) express such a general defiance of logic for being able to withstand pokemon attacks, but the idea is that we, as humans in this world, wouldn't be able to at least not off hand without a thousand if not more so years of evolution/adaption/whatever, and it would cause mass panic/death/ect to have such.

[Caden Bunny]

@jay: I don't mean they aren't as dangerous, but they don't have effects on them at that very moment that you see them that can happen. Gloom knocks you out a mile away, while Miccino doesn't. They CAN be just, if not more, dangerous. But, with the right moves, they'll only kick your butt, not electricute you, fry you, etc. ^^ So Normal pokemon, at times, are less dangerous x3 So if it was a starter, you're good, but some other pokemon are rather dangerous. ^^ Poor Weedle poisons you with a touch ._.

[Admiral Striker General]

In the show it liked to play jokes and well… it didn’t hurt Ash at all.

Kero. Ash DIED in that episode. '^^ His ghost flew around with the Ghost Pokemon, and they had so much fun with him they brought him back to life. 'x3; That was one of the creepiest things in the whole series.

Aside from that, while inconsistent, MORE canon shows them to be dangerous than cuddly. The anime, targeted at 10-yr-olds, has its moments. All games, main and spin-offs, have some level of scary in-story (Darkrai attacking the sailor's son, the entire existence of the reverse world and the fate of Cyrus (which was actually scarier in the anime than in-game, even), the vengeful ghost of Marowak that couldn't possibly have been the only one like it on the planet, the near-destruction of the world when Groudon/Kyogre awakens in third gen, etc). The PokeDex is horrifying. The main manga is horrifying. This manga is also said by Satoshi Tajiri himself to be THE most accurate version of the world he envisioned.

As to why it does or doesn't justify, I think you miss the point that I'm trying to combat. The vast majority of strong fans are like "zomg this should definitely be real because it would be the coolest thing evar". I'm pointing out it would be as much if not more a risk than a fantasy. Even if it is "only one possible" outcome, it still IS at LEAST AS possible, and who would really risk it considering just how extreme a risk it is?

Furthermore, at least a few Pokemon ARE consistently shown to be, as a species, completely dangerous and feared when wild. Beedrill, for instance, have been seem calm and tame once captured, but far more often are seen in the wild, and ALWAYS run from with the urgency of one fearing extreme injury if not death. Gyarados always rampage with any provocation. Snorlax always eat amounts that would destroy the ecosystem's balance. And this is just first-gen. 'x3


XP Thank you Jay and Caden for bringing back the point that elemental attacks are 100% consistent and in fact the very basis of what make many Pokemon what they are. So yeah. In the event history could somehow be altered in such a way that Pokemon always HAD existed and humans had developed natural resistance to them over time, it may not be as/more dangerous. With such an altered history, we may, like in the anime, never have developed many of our modern weapons that give our current dangers, given we already had pocketable super powered pets to carry around. (Guns still exist in every instance, mind you; they just seem to be much less common. We don't know about nukes/etc but we can assume they don't.) People would probably be closer to nature, too, given Pokemon are so sentient and often close to human intelligence, and some can serve as mediators to actually verbally communicate between humans and those that can't (thought)speak themselves. Of course, most of us probably wouldn't exist as we are and would never know our wish came true, but the world overall could be cool.

....But that isn't the desire most have/I'm combatting. 'x3

Most people's idea of "Pokemon should be real" is "Pokemon should suddenly spawn into existence in this current world". xP And no.